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#42 – What Your Sexual Fantasies Say About You

In Episode 42, Dr. Justin Lehmiller returns to talk with Dr. Zhana and Joe about sexual fantasies and what they say about us!

Most people have sexual fantasies, and some fantasies are not as rare as you might think. What do our fantasies mean? Should we act on them and if so how? Dr. Justin Lehmiller talks about his new book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Listen to find out which are the most common sexual fantasies, how our fantasies differ according to our age, gender and political beliefs, as well as the ways we can normalize sexual fantasies and potentially make them realities. 

About our Guest

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist, Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute, and author of the new book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator and a prolific scholar who has published more than 40 pieces of academic writing to date. Dr. Lehmiller’s research focuses on topics including casual sex, sexual fantasy, sexual health, and friends with benefits. Dr. Lehmiller has run the popular blog Sex and Psychology since 2011 and he is a popular freelance writer, penning columns and op-eds for major publications, including Playboy, USA Today, VICE, Psychology Today, and New York Magazine. He has been named one of 5 “Sexperts” You Need to Follow on Twitter by Men’s Health, and is a go-to expert on sex for several major media outlets.

Visit his website. Or follow him on Instagram @justinjlehmiller or on twitter @JustinLehmiller.

Don’t miss this week’s foreplay…

A new study shows that it takes just a third of a second to realize you are attracted to someone and only a quarter of a second to recognize a person’s gender. Spotting attractiveness and gender so quickly could better increase our chances of finding a mate. We associate attractiveness with intelligence and better health which helps us make snap judgments about potential mates. Click here to find out more.

Before Next Time…

Remember to like The Science of Sex Podcast on FacebookTwitter, and check out our website at!

Check out Dr. Zhana at a comedy variety show Wednesday October 3rd at 8 pm! Click here for more details.

For more in-person sex science, check out Dr. Zhana at the Touchpoint Town Hall on October 15th, for her seminar on How to Be In An Open Relationship. See the event live at the Assemblage, or listen in on the Touchpoint Podcast. RSVP here to reserve your ticket for this free event!

Check out Dr. Zhana’s next Sex Science Social: Debunking Sex Myths That Ruin Lives, on October 18th. She will be discussing some common myths that get pushed around that can be detrimental to relationships! Click here to reserve your tickets for the event!

Remember to submit comments, questions, and everything in between on our Get in Touch Page!

Do you love The Science of Sex Podcast and all the work Dr. Zhana does? Support her by becoming a monthly Patreon Supporter!


About the author, The Science of Sex Podcast

The science of sex podcast is a weekly podcast that seeks to bring scientifically accurate information about everyone's favorite topic.

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